1.Un tip a cumparat un frigider nou pentru casa lui.Ca sa scape de cel vechi, l-a pus in fata casei cu un carton pe el,pe care scrie: E gratis, il vrei, ia-l acasa.
4 zile a stat frigiderul acolo si nimeni nici macar nu s-a uitat la el.A realizat ca oamenii erau prea neincrezatori in aceasta oferta.
Asa ca a decis sa schimbe cartonul : Frigider de vanzare cu 100 ron.
A doua zi cineva l-a furat!
Ei traiesc printre noi!!!!
Dear Economist,
My young son came home from school and asked me: “Mummy, what’s a credit crunch?” How can I explain this to a five-year-old?
Ms LG, London
Dear Ms LG,
Once upon a time, there was a blameless girl called Consumerella, who didn’t have enough money to buy all the lovely things she wanted. She went to her Fairy Godmother, who called a man called Rumpelstiltskin who lived on Wall Street and claimed to be able to spin straw into gold. Rumpelstiltskin sent the Fairy Godmother the recipe for this magic spell. It was written in tiny, tiny writing, so she did not read it but hoped the Sorcerers’ Exchange Commission had checked it.
The Fairy Godmother carried away armfuls of glistening straw-derivative at a bargain price. Emboldened by the deal, she lent Consumerella – who had a big party to go to – 125 per cent of the money she needed. Consumerella bought a bling-bedizened gown, a palace and a Mercedes – and spent the rest on champagne. The first payment was due at midnight.
At midnight, Consumerella missed the first payment on her loan. (The result of overindulgence, although some blamed the pronouncements of the Toastmaster, a man called Peston.) Consumerella’s credit rating turned into a pumpkin and Rumpelstiltskin’s spell was broken. He and the Fairy Godmother discovered that their vaults were not full of gold, but ordinary straw.
All seemed lost until Santa Claus and his helpers, men with implausible fairy-tale names such as Darling and Bernanke, began handing out presents. It was only in January that Consumerella’s credit card statement arrived and she discovered that Santa Claus had paid for the gifts by taking out a loan in her name. They all lived miserably ever after. The End.
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers – most of whom are unemployed alcoholics – to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi’s bar.
Taking advantage of her customers’ freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi’s borrowing limit.
He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi’s bar.
However they cannot pay back the debts.
Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.
DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.
The suppliers of Heidi’s bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.
The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.
The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers
http://www.tvhe.co.nz/2009/02/24/the-financial-crisis-explained-in-simple-terms/
Daca nu reusiti sa cititi textul de mai sus, puneti-va degetele aratatoare la coada ochilor si trageti in lateral (faceti-va ochi de chinez). Astfel veti afla cauza problemelor dvs de vedere.
If you cant read the text above, use your first fingers to pull the eyes (making Chinese eyes). This way you will find the reason of your eye’s problems.
Agassi & Gates
Simbata dimineata m-am trezit devreme, m-am imbracat in liniste, mi-am pregatit un pachet cu mincare pentru prinz, am luat cainele, am mers apoi tiptil pina in garaj, am atasat barca la masina si am pornit la drum. Spre disperarea mea, la iesirea din garaj am observat ca afara era o vijelie de nedescris, ploaie amestecata cu fulgi de zapada, vintul sufla cu peste 100 km/h. Am revenit cu masina in garaj si am pornit radioul. La stiri se anunta ca vremea se va inrautati continuu. M-am intors in casa. M-am dezbracat inapoi in liniste si m-am strecurat in pat linga sotia mea, soptindu-i la ureche: – E o vreme ingrozitoare afara. Ea a raspuns somnoroasa: – Iti vine sa crezi ca idiotu’ de barbatu-meu e la pescuit pe furtuna asta?
Pe Neatorama am gasit o postare despre cele mai ciudate patente acordate pentru inventii/inovatii anti-terorism. Printre ele veti vedea o “cursa cu usi instalata intr-un avion”, “lansator de rachete montat pe tren” insa cel mai tare este “costumul impotriva atacurilor bio-chimice cu toaleta incorporata” (foto jos). Sa speram ca nu le vom vedea in actiune…
Mare greseala mare sa te plimbi cu gura deschisa sub copaci 
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